you traded sex for a burrito?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
