Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
smell my finger.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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