Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
