i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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