I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
