there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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