Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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