Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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