im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
