that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
