She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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