were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
