guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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