That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
