I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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