Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
