I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
