you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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