Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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