oh god the rape fog is back!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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