I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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