that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize