i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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