how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize