I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
