My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dignity is for republicans.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
