bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
