I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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