i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
