it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
