Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
