i wish peter jackson would direct porn
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
