I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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