My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
