I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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