Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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