Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
