he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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