chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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