the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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