hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
