John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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