Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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