So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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