sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
