Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
