You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
