Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
