smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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