I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
