I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
