If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
