Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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