i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
