...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
