mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
